This week wasn’t the best for me.
I subbed at my now very normal middle school in the kindergarten class and was basically run over. I’ve worked with these kids before on multiple occasions but we hadn’t even hit 11 am on Tuesday after a hard Monday when I had to ask a room full of five-year-olds (who decided karate in the library was a great idea), “it’s literally Tuesday morning and nothing special is going on; what’s the deal?” Of course, they didn’t have an answer for me as the teacher called us back to the classroom.
California has been in a heat wave which caused my runs to drain me after long days of chasing after twenty-two pairs of little legs through the same heat I wind up running through. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
I interviewed for a job about two and a half months ago and it went really well. They were checking out my references, working on an offer (which they let me know), and then nothing. I heard back yesterday after a few emails which let me know that the position ended up being scrapped due to some other business related issues I can’t go into here. They apologized for letting the information fall through the cracks which I understand, but to top off an already frustrating week, the fact that I didn’t get the job which was two months in the making (with a lot of people cheering me on who now will want to be undated and join in on the pity party I don’t want) was a bit much.
But How do we get through these tough days?
To quote Disney’s Meet the Robinsons, “keep moving forward!”
For me, this meant I had a quick cry and then a 10 minute boxing and dance off session to work off all the frustration. Then, I sat down and went through all my old work tabs. My mom said (in her comforting yet totally not comforting way) that I get a day to feel sorry for myself but if you don’t know me, I’ll let you know right now, that’s not how I work. I haven’t fully stopped working on my options, just slowed down a little.
So getting motivated is not really my issue, my bigger issue is the pity party I know loved one’s are going to want to throw FOR me. I get it it’s all about love, but let’s be honest, it doesn’t work.
We’ve all been there. A family member is really sick, someone has died, you lost a job, the list of our major bummer yet everyday tragedies is miles long, and people are always willing to share their equally tragic story to show you we’ve all been there. We’ve all done it and we’ve all sat there thinking, ‘who was that supposed to help?’
With the announcement about to roll out in waves here’s my plan (and as always, it’s easier said than done):
1. Let people know flat out that you don’t want a pity party; you don’t need to talk about it and that you’ve put it behind you (or you are working on it). I’ve learned that you can’t feel bad if you have to walk away from a conversation if they don’t let it go. I remember my sister having to deal with the same pressure after the end her maternity leave (people at work kept asking her if she was okay or missing her daughter yet. Of course she was!). She was the one who really highlighted this issue for me.
2. Know that’s it’s okay to have a pity party. It’s not my style but I totally understand needing the time. Have a wallow day Gilmore style with pizza, ice cream, and sad movies if that’s what’s going to get you through it. Have a long bath with a beer and a few tears. do what you need to do and don’t feel bad for needing to get that frustration out with a pity party even if you have others telling you that you don’t get that time. I threw myself full on into my punching bag and while my arms ached today, I felt better.
3. Shake up your routine. This has been big for me across the board. Move your schedule around, your furniture, whatever you need to change up your perspective. I’ve rearranged my whole room and now I am rearranging my CV and the way I’m looking at jobs. It’s work and get’s your brain to shift focus – at least, that’s what I need.
That’s all for me and this accidental pity party (I know, ironic), but this is how I deal with disappointment and (as I said) keep moving forward. Let me know how you work through or even with disappointment, I really would love to know!
- Taylor Gallagher